1. 3 weeks into knowing each other, I distanced myself so far from you I might as well have moved across the country. I am so sorry.
2. Once you start falling in love, you can’t stop. You just keep falling and falling until you fall forever for that one person - or you fall and you break. I broke you, and I am so sorry.
3. There’s different types of fears. There’s hesitance and there’s suffocation with a scent of death. You were the latter. I am so sorry.
4. When you give into fear, you either cope with it or it kills you. When you killed parts of me, I killed all of you. I am so sorry.
5. Handing someone your heart is like handing them a gun and giving them permission to pull the trigger. I should have warned you; I love to flirt with tragedy. I am so sorry.
6. I’m more stubborn than a hurricane on acid. I taught winter how to be cold. I’m more inconsistent than cell phone reception in the middle of a forest. You dealt with my cruelest flaws but I couldn’t even deal with your habit of short fingernails and coffee breath. I’m so sorry.
7. You spilled your heart to me and I forgot to mention all I do is walk away from messes. I am so sorry.
8. You were in such a dark place, so I ran. I guess I was scared of seeing something so similar to me besides in my own reflection. Fuck dammit, I am so sorry.
9. I never cheated and I never lied or hit you or cursed at you or used your flaws against you, or anything like that but oh god, did I hurt you. I am so sorry.
10. I remember lots of “I’m sorry’s” and “I can’t do this anymore’s” and “I don’t want to hurt you’s” — but I don’t remember a single “goodbye”. I am so fucking sorry.
11. You were 11 when you lost your mother. Not to a coffin, but to burning vodka and poison-filled needles. I am so sorry. (I hope she is too.)
12. 11 months and 12 days later, I’m counting up to our year anniversary. Since I left, all I’ve been doing is drinking and smoking and fucking until I feel that distinct feeling of feeling absolutely nothing at all. Happy Anniversary, darling - I am so sorry.
13. I’m not sorry because of my countless mistakes. I am sorry because you loved me and I love you and I lost you. I am so sorry. I will always be sorry."